And we mean ~nail~ it. Like sex.
Show up in a limousine.
It's pretty much a scientific fact that as soon as someone sees a limo they get wicked horny. Get the biggest limo you can. Velcro two limos together. Your date will love it.
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But show up half an hour late.
Offer no excuse or reason, just show up when you want. Dates love being kept in suspense. Sooo mysterious!
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DON'T BRING FLOWERS!
FLOWERS ARE THE WORST! You gotta put 'em in a vase, you gotta put water in them, people will tell you to cut the stems at an angle or some shit?! UGH!!! Am I dating you, or these fussy as fuck flowers???
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Compliment their ass.
Everyone loves getting compliments, and everyone LOVES hearing about how good their ass looks. Definitely say something like "oh damn, is that your chilli dumper or did I wander into a museum showcasing the greatest works of arse?"
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